Every child responds differently to a sense of danger. During shelling, crying or irritability may increase; sleep or appetite may change; a child may want to remain close to an adult, check important belongings more often, or return to earlier habits. These reactions do not make a child “difficult” — they may be the mind’s way of coping with overload.
I notice different ways of coping in my own children too. At such times, I try to offer more connection, play and clear explanations, while paying closer attention to my own state. I do not need to be perfectly calm, but I do need to notice when I also need support.
What may help a child:
1. Attend to physical safety first and follow the official action plan during an air-raid alert. Briefly explain where you are going and what will happen next.
2. Answer questions honestly in age-appropriate language. Do not promise what is beyond your control: instead of “nothing will happen”, you might say, “I am here; right now we are doing everything we can to stay safe.”
3. Name the feeling: “I can see that you are scared” or “it seems that you are angry.” Do not demand that the child calm down quickly. Offer hugs and touch rather than imposing them.
4. Where possible, maintain familiar routines around food, sleep, movement and play. Drawing or playing about what is happening can be a way to process experience and does not need to be prohibited.
5. Care for yourself as well. An adult’s state affects a child, but this is not a reason for self-blame. A parent or caregiver may also need support from loved ones or a professional.
If changes in sleep, eating or behaviour, or intense anxiety, do not ease for a long time, interfere with daily life, or suggest a risk to the child, consider contacting a child psychologist, family doctor or paediatrician. In an emergency in Ukraine, call 112.
This article provides general information and does not replace an individual consultation or emergency assistance.