The greatest value in my world is relationships: with colleagues, friends, my child, my parents and my husband. This does not mean that I strive only for pleasant communication, try to be perfect or expect perfection from others. I invest most of my effort and capacity in this part of my life. I am probably not someone who could be happy on a desert island. All my hobbies, interests and professional pursuits involve close contact with people.
On the one hand, this does not always resonate with others, and some people’s values — money, social status, recognition or something else — may be entirely different from mine. On the other hand, everyone needs relationships at one time or another: support, help, care and understanding. I want to believe that when we experience positive contact and are treated with care, we gradually make that experience part of our inner world.
There are people in whose presence it does not feel frightening to open up; people with whom it feels safe to be yourself. I believe these are qualities a therapist should have: an ability to accept people without judging or devaluing them. From my own experience with several psychotherapists, I can say that in a difficult situation I would return to only a few — those who look at others without judgement and accept them. This grows from their acceptance of themselves. They remain the same person when they leave the professional space. This is how I understand the phrase: “The psychologist’s main instrument is the psychologist.”
Psychology currently contains many different things because clear boundaries and certification are lacking, and because the profession itself can compensate for many needs of the professional.