Therapy is about contact: how we build a relationship with the therapist, how we begin and end, how we relate to the therapeutic frame and payment, and what we feel towards the therapist and the process itself. All of this reflects the client’s inner processes.
Sometimes a person says, ‘I don’t know what to talk about,’ ‘I don’t know whether I’m speaking correctly,’ ‘Am I saying too much or too little?’, ‘My thoughts are confused,’ or ‘I’m too direct.’ In fact, everything you bring into the contact matters — even a story about your morning coffee, your favourite pastries or an argument in a shop queue.
The therapeutic process is not always pleasant and does not consist only of relief. Sometimes sadness appears, sometimes anger, confusion or a sense of being stuck. All these experiences matter and may be part of movement rather than evidence that ‘something is going wrong’.
At times it may feel as if the process is standing still; at other times, as if it is moving too quickly. It is important to discuss these feelings with the therapist rather than remain alone with them.
A great deal of information emerges through the interaction with the therapist, not only through the client’s words. How a person formulates a request, moves closer or further away, and experiences rules, payment, pauses or their own anger is also part of the work.
The pace and outcome depend on many factors. It matters how long the problem has existed and how much time a person has had to adapt their life, habits and relationships around it.
People come with different concerns: to understand themselves better, improve relationships, cope with anxiety or phobias, work through difficulties at work or move through a personal crisis. One thing remains unchanged: therapy is contact between one person and another. Finding the therapist who is right for you — not only a method, but a person — is already a very important part of finding the right contact and support.